What is Intimacy and sex drive?
What is Intimacy?
Welcome back to another blog!
Everything I write comes from personal experience and opinion where some people may or may not disagree with me, therefore if you don't agree with my opinion then please do not carry on reading.
Intimacy? A definition that varies from person to person. I personally don't think there is a true definition because human beings are so dynamic and unique, but you can only define it based on your own experiences.
For me a main factor in being truly intimate is to be sexually in tune with each other. To be on the same par and page.
In my own experience I love having sex and being intimate with my partner because I feel it brings you together. It bridges that gap between loving someone as a person and being in love with them.
Being close to someone sexually gives many emotional and physical benefits; it lowers depression, reduces stress levels, helps regulate your sleep cycle and overall it benefits your health and plus its free.
Maybe to others I have a high libido because I enjoy doing it everyday especially before I go to sleep. But I need to be physically in tune with someone because I'm a person that bounces off energy others give me. I need that physical passion from someone to be sexually and emotionally in tune because it ''excites me''. It gives me that thrill, excitement and passion.
Being passionate doesn't only mean the physical aspect (although its important) it means constantly bouncing off each others energies and aura's, physically looking at your partner and enjoying every moment, liking their company and an overall feeling of contentment.
Just because your in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to loose your spark. You should still try to impress them, just like you did in the ''courting period''. Just because you have that person, should not mean that you give up trying to make them feel like they did in the beginning. This is why I think a lot of relationships ''run their course'' over time, because people get too comfortable and give up making effort.
I suppose age, background and lifestyles can play a part in why a lot of relationships ''run their course'' but if that's the case, you should be aware and empathetic to your partners needs and wants and try to do the best you can and meet in the middle.
Physical touch is also important in creating intimacy because you can have many sexual partners even at the same time, but you may not be emotionally connected. This has happened to me many of times, these partners give you a sexual gratification but they don't scratch the itch emotionally. This again is ok if this is what you want. We are all going through different life stages but I think people should be more honest. By being honest, this will help communication and if you want to be a mug by accepting someone who can't give you what you want and have communicated with you properly about it then that is on you.
Physical touch like kisses, cuddles, touching in situations where there is no particular need or environment where its needed is also nice in building intimacy because it shows to you that your loved one cares about you emotionally. Head kisses, deep eye-contact, kissing are all great in building intimacy also.
To some people its hard to have a happy balance. Your opinions may differ which is okay if a gap can be bridged. However, if there is no chance of communicating efficiently then you may as well give up before it gets toxic.
A relationship should be built on communication, mutual appreciation and trust. You should always try to make your partner feel wanted, loved and attractive.
Of course things like busy work schedules and everyday life routines can cause communication errors, but when this becomes more and more frequent and that gap becomes too large to fill, then you may consider an ultimatum.
You should feel valued, appreciated and loved and don't ever settle for someone or something that is below your standard.
Erin x
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