Lessons I wished younger me knew.

                                                      Advice to me at 18. 

Hi guys, welcome back to a new blog! Today I wanted to talk about things I wished I learnt/ knew when I was a younger teenager. Although I am only 22, the person I was 4 years ago is not the same person that I look at in the mirror today. Growth takes time and experience, but after getting to know some younger people and talking to them about their issues, when I look back at the older version of me, I wished she knew what I know now and I want to share my opinions with you. As a disclaimer these opinions are my opinions. You may disagree with them, therefore don't read on if you do not understand or respect them. 

Lesson 1; DONT COMPARE.

Social media is a blessing and a curse; it is fantastic to be able to connect or to reconnect with old friends but it is a curse in the sense you constantly compare your life to others. When I was younger, I used to look at the life's of other people on social media and I used to compare body sizes, lifestyles, how many friends they have compared to me and so on. This created an adverse affect because you would constantly be doubting your own life; ''if it was good enough'' ''fun enough'' ''rich enough''. The key to happiness; DONT!!. Of course look at social media, like a picture or video if you enjoy what your looking at but do not compare. Life created on socials are generally fantasy living. You can create a reality online that doesn't live up to your every-day life. Never compare yourself to other people, because you will be unhappy internally and this will create self-esteem issues. 

Lesson 2; NEVER CHASE A PERSON.

An opinion, my mum had taught me since I could remember. But it is true; never chase a person that doesn't want you in their life. If a person wanted you in their life, they would make time, effort and care into seeing you regularly, making it ''OFFICAL'', introducing you to their circles, making you feel like a priority. If your dating a person, that doesn't make you feel like your their one and only then they aren't worth your time and commitment. Only put maximum effort into someone who is giving you the same. You may feel like you can't live without them but you certainly can. The only time you can never bring a person back is if they are dead; therefore don't waste energy into someone that wouldn't loose sleep on you if you were upset. There is nearly 8 billion people on the planet, so if the guy/girl you like is not giving you effort there are plenty more fish in the sea. 

Lesson 3; Evaluate your life/ ambitions.

Self-reflection is important for growth. You need to evaluate where your life is going in all aspects and constantly look for ways to improve aspects. For example if your gaining weight; prioritize getting healthy and comfortable in your skin again. If your relationship is failing evaluate what the issues are and see how/ if you can resolve them. Plan things, make yearly plan goals. Do little things that can overall improve your well-being and happiness. Growth is key and success comes to you if you go out and get it. 

Lesson 3; Stop empathizing on friends. 

Facts; friends let you down. Family too to a degree; stop prioritizing your friends over things that could create overall happiness. When I was younger I would never do things I do now like going to the cinema, going shopping, going to a restaurant on my own. I always had to be with at least one friend in order for me to ''have a good time''. When I stopped putting them in high regard, it was amazing how many friends dropped off because I was the one putting in the maximum effort. Having loads of friends doesn't mean your happy. Girl friendship groups are the most bitchest environments I have ever been in; I personally prefer male company although I am all about female empowerment. By me stopping having to try so hard to fit in to a group, I have such a more content life now. Of course I miss a group of girls to hang with but when I break it down there is also a lot of grief, drama and aggro that I don't miss. Generally speaking I love having many friends in different environments, different subcultures. It stops you from having to deal with the drama and it also gives you a content feeling depending on which vibe I want to be with in that moment. 

Lesson 4; Be your own person.

I see so many young girls I mean heck I teach lots of them that struggle with their identity. Identity as a teenager is so difficult; your learning all the time. Looking back on me at 18, I didn't really have a true identity. I tried to fit in with the newest fashion trends, the newest music on the market, the newest celebrity/ person gossip to feel validated that I was enough. Every time I tried to wear my own style I was ridiculed. I remember wearing a green prom-dress and all the girls at school bitched about it behind my back, but at prom I was the only one in the year that could pull off the colour and they all back-tracked their statements. Screw what people think. I admire anyone that has their own unique style, opinions and values. When you look at the next ''Goth'' and think what the hell is he/she wearing? backtrack your answer and think ''wow I admire this person's confidence''.  Being your own self is respected. I'm a heel person, I rave in them for Christ sake. I wear what I want because it makes me happy, I look the way I do because it makes me happy, I act the way I want and I don't care what people think of me and you should too. There will be plenty of people out there that will like your style, so if your circle doesn't then maybe you need to re-evaluate if their the crowd you want to associate with. 

Lesson 5; Enjoy the present. 

Life can change in nano seconds. One minute you can be high on life and the next at rock bottom. It comes with life I'm afraid. When your having a shitty day; remember there are others out there in worst positions. Be grateful you have a roof over your head, clean water & clothes. Not because you don't have the latest iPhone 12. Materialism means nothing; I can walk out in a full Primark outfit and look just as nice as someone in Gucci. Of course if you like expensive clothes, that's your decision but don't wear these items and spend all this money for validation your living your best life. Wear these things because they make you feel comfortable in your skin; for me I am not a materialistic person I know nothing about brands, but that is just me, I would rather give money to small businesses then rich brands. I want to drive a Fiat 500 because I think the car suits me. DONT try to be something your not, if you cant afford it live in your means, not beyond them. 

Lesson 6; Self-confidence.

A tough one, because you can't help if your esteem is low. But there are things you can do to help them; try to change your mindset from I cant - I can. I won't - I will. Try all different methods until you find one that suits you. Walk into that bar with your head held up. Go for that interview because you WILL get it. Go get that guy/girl you want to talk to. Go on a trip on your own, Go to the gym because you WILL loose weight. I used to have low confidence because OTHERS made me feel like crap. But I was determined to prove them wrong; but don't get obsessed with this idea. Do things at a happy pace. Rome wasn't built in a day so things will take time and patience. Confidence is being happy within and this will reflect on other environments surrounding you. Next time you hear someone doing well; wish them don't envy them. The more you reflect on your own life, the more you will be able to analyze and see problem areas that need to improved. 

You change every day, every year, every month. Experiences, life lessons, teachings both negative and positive change us. Who I was at 18 is different to now, Who I will be in 5 years will be different to me now at 22. In my opinion self-reflection, Self-confidence, Self-esteem are fundamental (basic) needs that need to be met in order to create internal happiness. Who you are inside will reflect on who you present on the outside. Be your own person, and you will begin to see things from a more in-depth point of view. Every person you meet comes into your life to teach you something; good/bad, Ying/Yan. Grab every opportunity as a blessing in both perspectives and you will begin to see things from other perspectives, 

These are my person opinions, I wish if I could chat to younger me, Id tell her this. These opinions are biased and if you read them and this helped you then that was the aim of these blogs. 

Erin x