Meeting Great Guys but on Holiday.

                                                             Holiday Romances 

I think most girls have experienced at least one holiday romance in their life. For me this has happened way too many times, to the point that I am sick and tired of meeting great guys from countries or places that are nowhere near me. 

Holiday romances are thrilling and exciting. Real life is taken out of context and you can get lost in the person your dating; forgetting that you both have real lives that may not be compatible outside of ''the bubble'' that you are living in for that short period of time. 

The amount of times in my life where I have told friends and family ''I can see us being in a relationship, but he doesn't live in the same country as me. It is probably one of the most frustrating feelings because why can't you meet someone that is compatible with you locally?

I often wonder if the thrill and excitement can cloud your judgement where the line of lust and love is very difficult to decipher. Maybe only knowing the person for a short amount of time, you are only getting the best versions of that person whilst if you knew them for a longer period of time, you would get to see the cracks and then be able to make a logical decision if you and that person are compatible. 

I suppose in a way, as human's do when we are looking to ''mate'' we try to show the best version - a little bit like a Rooster when he is impressing a potential mate he shows his feathers to try impress them. We therefore like to show our best versions - We try to look good, We show our best personality traits and just generally like to show the nicest version of ourselves. You certainly don't show the bad parts because 1- You don't feel comfortable with that person yet and 2- You don't want to give the other person any potential ''warning signs''. Once you are comfortable with a guy/girl you no longer care about showing ''how good you look''. Once I hit a certain point in my relationships, they no longer see sexy Erin but the Erin that prefers to sit in her PJS with her facemasks and Sudocrem on her face.

Recently I have met two really nice guys on two separate occasions. Both I saw potential in but I know from experience it won't work geographically because I have already done it TWICE. 

Guy number 1 - I won't be naming any names due to privacy of the people I am referring to. He was super nice. I know that sounds so basic but he really was. I met him from Tinder (though I ignored him for days leading up to this but not intentionally). I don't usually like meeting people from dating apps because I know why people mainly use them but sometimes I do like to look at the menu and see what is on offer. 

Sometimes I can be oblivious to what someone is trying to tell me. He asked me about some nice places around the city I lived in and as being me I generally gave him some nice places; whilst he was hinting he wanted to go to them WITH ME. After realising this, I decided too see why not. 

On the day of meeting; I had just finished some classes in the evening and was feeling tired so after sending him my location; I felt I had to get ready. During these couple of hours I had a strong feeling he wasn't going to turn up but at this point my makeup was too far gone to go back on myself - I remember calling my Cousin as she was in the city herself telling her I felt he wasn't going to come but lucky enough he did come (he liked to come late). Instantly I felt really comfortable with him chatting away in the car then we went off for some food and then met my Cousin later on in the night. It was really fun and he surprised me considering I had a feeling we weren't going to be compatible we actually were.  

After this night (Didn't get home till about 6am) we met everyday until the Sunday so we spent around 3 days really getting to know each other. I would say in a long time at that point it was probably the first connection I had where it went deeper than just sexual attraction. I felt he wanted to get to know me rather than only get to know the surface part of me which was nice and refreshing. He was really nice, interesting and liked to have deep conversations plus he was very chill and I like being around people like that as I hate rushing. The bonus was that he was gorgeous too. 

I felt like on the last day as every holiday romance does; it felt like we were distancing because real life was setting in. He hinted that in his home country he worked long hours and our lives started to become more real in the sense that our two lifestyles were very different. He was where he was whilst I was in Spain just about to work in a summer camp. It would have been hard to have seen each other due to our lives being very different. 

To give him credit; we continued to speak for awhile as I made my peace before that I probably wouldn't hear from him much. However; being totally realistic here, when you meet someone you are compatible with in a usual environment (living in the same place) - You get to know the person by going on dates and seeing each other maybe once or twice a week but when you are doing long-distance or having holiday romances this gets drastically cut and can make you lost. Also sometimes when you are messaging on text- words or sentences can become lost in translation especially when maybe ones language is not the first as the others. 

I believe that everything happens in your life for a reason - people come and go or some people stay. Situations play out for good or for worse to teach you lessons therefore if someone is meant to be with you regardless if it right now or maybe in the future it will happen or it won't. I feel like right now (never say never) he came into my life at this point in time, because I realised though I am still only 22 and I am young I am looking for something more meaningful with someone rather than just getting drunk on weekends and having fun with guys. I find all of this boring now (except the odd occasion, plus I am a young Grandma at heart). If he lived near me then I openly admit that I would snatch him up as he is a really good catch because I feel that he is a decent human being with a good heart. But things are really ''It is what it is'' and if in the future or if not, I still look back on it as a nice experience. 

Now Guy number 2 

So I had recently met this one on a night out in London. Defiantly was not looking for this (this always happens though) with a couple of friends of mine. Though me and this guy still doesn't remember how we ended up speaking, though we have our suspicions our friends set us up. (plus we were very drunk; I had way too many Tequilas that night) got speaking and instantly we a spark. Lots of flirting later; ended up at my friends house and you know the rest. (BTW girls can definitely do this as well as guys and if you don't like hearing this then don't bother reading the rest). This for me was only meant to be one night of passion that lead to more. 

I am not an idiot - I know when you sleep with someone early on before setting down any foundations 9/10 it won't become anything more serious. But somehow it did; maybe I set a good impression who knows but he messaged me the next day and then we met a few more times before I went home. 

Although he was gorgeous and my type so this was why it ended up being what it was after getting to know him more; I had again realised he had more too him than what first met the eye. He comes from a very different world to what I live so on paper, you wouldn't think we were compatible but we were. We had some good times chatting and getting to know each other more in depth. Sadly I had to go back home before we could get to know each other more, but again you never know and can never say never. We made plans to see each other again, and if we do then we can see what happens but right now I am way more focused on my life and my career to focus on relationships. 

I think meeting people on Holiday can be really good learning experiences. You can get to meet people from different cultures to your own and people who live very different lives to what you do and these are great ways to learn new things as every human being can bring positivity to your life. The flip side with holiday romances is that they can be frustrating because someone who you could see potentially being more, may not work out the way you want it. 

I think when you meet somebody abroad you should try to be realistic and not get trapped in the false reality - don't go off imaging how many babies you guys will have (no matter how beautiful they could be) but try to see things for what it is and to appreciate the time you do have with that person, and then come out of that experience feeling like you have learnt things that you maybe wouldn't have known if you had never met them. Every person wants to have someone it is human nature, but focus on your life and what direction you want it to go and then you will meet someone great when you least expect it.