Being Stuck Between Cultures.

                                                            In-between Cultures

Hi! It has been a long time since I had last wrote a blog about my life. I want to disclaim that this blog has no reference to anyone, but is based on my own experiences and opinions which people may agree or disagree with my viewpoints therefore, if this offends you then please do not read it! 

Recently I have made a trip back to my home country where I have felt mixed views on where I stand here. On one half it has been great to be familiar with things and people I have grown up with and on the other  I have felt that my home is no longer in this country. 

Moving to another country especially to one that is very different in many ways to the country I grew up in is a crazy experience but I truly recommend people to get out of their comfort zone and to explore and experience things that can be quite daunting. 

I remember when I first moved when I was 18, I hated it! The culture was strange - people not leaving their houses until late at night, little children sitting outside at 2am when it was a school night, shops being closed on a Sunday , not having to show my ID every two seconds and the list goes on! 

I also felt out of my depth because the English people out there (EXPATS) who I still to this day dislike immensely were not my cup of tea and the Spanish who had totally different personalities to English people (Stupid senses of humor) though I used to hate to admit made me feel incredibly lonely.  I was also watching all of my best-friends get on with their lives and I felt I was stagnating doing nothing. At this point I thought fuck this, things need to seriously change. I decided to get out of my comfort zone, I got qualifications to teach English, I got a good job, I made friends (ones who were so different to what I had ever known) and got myself out there and after this I never looked back. 

I grew to love my lifestyle and the new culture that I had embraced. My life in Spain is so simple but I find it so relaxing. Some people like to joke and say ''I work part time'' but that is not the case, because hours of work in Spain are different to hours you work here in the UK. Working 20-26 hours per week can give you enough money to live a very comfortable and affordable life and lifestyle. Some days I only work evenings whilst somedays I work during the day where I have massive gaps in-between work where I like to go the gym. go out with friends, go for coffee with my students and go out at night for a couple of glasses of wine. 

My style of dress is quite conservative. My style I would describe is sexy but classy where I wear bold colours and very flowy but comfortable stuff with heels as a definite! I wear heels to work, I wear heels out and if I could I would wear them to the gym. My style of clothing is definitely European now; if you have every gone to the markets and saw the clothes had ''made in Italy'' you will understand what my style looks like.

I spend my weekdays in Alicante as I find it the most diverse and lively place in the Costa Blanca always being busy seeing people and doing things where I spend my weekends at my parents in the countryside sorting out my endless clothes in my walk in wardrobe, swimming in my pool and reading my books and filling out my diary. I try to take time off my phone as I feel this can negatively impact me with speaking to people 24/7 and then I feel refreshed for the next week. 

Nightlife has changed since Covid. But nethertheless I go out with friends, students and sometimes dates to little cute bars where there is a buzzy atmosphere looking at the sea or at the Santa Barbra Castle mainly  sipping some wine, having some food and good conversations and giggles. 

On weekends I like to go out with my Mum to little markets all around the little towns, then popping into some cafes and eating some food and then coming home to chill and relax. The little things make me happy but it is not for everyone which I totally understand!

Don't get me wrong I love a good blow out! Most the time I don't even end up coming home until at least 3am but I couldn't do this every week. I would find it too energy draining. 

Whilst I look back on my life in the UK before I turned 18. There were so many good points. I had so many multicultural friends (Spain isn't the best place for this unless your in a big big city!) where you learn so much from different people, the job opportunities, the variety you get in shops, the choice of music you get in nightlife, so many places and things to visit and the list goes on!  I will always talk about England fondly as I had so many amazing memories and experiences here, but to be realistic there were also shit parts. 

For one it is so expensive! If your not making enough money per month to pay your bills etc.. it can be a very depressing place. Secondly the weather is awful! 9-10 months of the year it is either raining, snowing or cold. You spend half your life indoors freezing and having the central heating on. Your lucky if the weather is consistent and you have more than 1 week per year that is sunny. Lastly people here are nosey and they care way too much about what other people are doing. People nowadays in England are way too sensitive; it is hard to be opinionated when so many people are against you voicing your feelings. People care way too much about the way they look and how other people perceive which in itself can create a lot of self-esteem issues and mental health problems! 

One thing I love in Spain is none cares what you look like. You can walk outside with a black bag over you and people wouldn't bat an eyelid. Though with this next comment I have mixed views about because I love beauty and taking care of myself (maybe its the English in me) girls in Spain generally don't care. You hardly see girls walking around with false eyelashes, loads of makeup, hair and nails freshly done which in itself can really help you to relax. 

I used to be such a gym bunny because I cared so much about the idea of not being ''FAT'' I went to the gym 6-7 days per week - to the point if I didn't exercise my body actually ached. This was a unhealthy obsession and since moving to Spain I couldn't care less. I exercise now for mental health reasons and to feel good. Not to try look like something I am not. I have curves and I will embrace them now not try to hide them or to make myself sick. 

Since coming home, I've felt that people care way too much and it is a really stress vibe to experience. People care about where their going, who they are with and how others look at them for Instagram and Snapchat. These things aren't going to make you happy. There are many beautiful people that I see internally struggling where if they just didn't care about others viewpoints they could be free within themselves. 

Materialistic things like cars, clothes, possessions mean nothing because once you die you will be in the same ground or burnt like everyone else. I love beauty and I work hard for my money to then spend it on nice things, but I try to do this for myself not for the appraisal of others. Company of others is the most important thing not what you look like. 

Where I feel I am not either culture is where on onehanded I grew up in one where I will always have love for it because it shaped me in the person I am today while on the other the other culture also shaped who I am today. It is crazy I could be a different person today if I never moved away. Maybe for the good or for the worse. The possibility didn't happen therefore there is no real point thinking about it.   

Both ways of life are different and I think it depends on what you like to decide which one you would prefer. If you love the 9-5 fast pace life then England is amazing. If your someone who prefers going to smaller and close places then I recommend Spain or another European country. 

I definitely think the weather contributes can contribute to happiness as you are getting vitamin D and overall you feel healthier. But it all depends on the person and your vibe that you like. 

Again this blog is not to diss anyone who enjoys the English lifestyle you keep doing you! but for me the best decision I made was to move to a country where things are much different.

Erin x