The Honest Truth about Dating Older and Younger Men.

 Have you ever started dating somebody younger or older and decided to read countless articles giving you the pros and cons? Have you ever had an argument with your beau and at 3am when you can't sleep you decide to research on google why you should stay with him? Have you ever overthought the reasons why you are with that person? to tell you the truth I have done all three of these questions I just asked you.

In my 21 years of life I have dated much older guys (15+), guys 5-7 years older than me and I have even dated people my age. ALL teaching me lessons about myself and on dating.

When somebody asks me ''What is your type?'' the first thing I always say is somebody OLDER than me. I'm not sure why this is a thing for me but it just is. There is nothing sexier for me than to see a guy who knows what he WANTS and what he NEEDS. Usually, it's older guys that seem to know more about themselves because life experiences have taught them valuable lessons. I just generally find this more attractive.

However, I have also come across older men that do not know what they want. They are chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but have got lost along the way. But I have also come across younger guys with amazing mentalities who know EXACTLY what they want. There are so many great and bad things about dating somebody younger or older than you.

I am going to give you my honest truth about the perks and cons of dating both older and young men.

Younger Guys

Guys that are younger or have the same age as you can be a thrilling experience. You can meet somebody that you just CLICK with. Your personalities are the same, you find the same things funny and you share a lot of similar beliefs, values, and opinions.

PROS

1) SIMILAR EXPERIENCES

When you are young all you want to is go out and have fun. Being with somebody younger or at your age can be really fun because you both have the same shared experiences. You want to go out clubbing, you want to go out dancing, you want to have fun and make memories with that person. This can be a really thrilling time for you both which is great for you guys to connect.

2) SEX

So this pro can also be negative. However, dating somebody you age you may be in sync with each other sexually. Being newly experienced in the umbrella world of Sex you and somebody your age may start to explore your sexuality together and learn your likes and dislikes. Building on your sex life may help you guys feel connected emotionally and physically.

3) BUILDING YOUR LIFE

Being young you literally have your whole life ahead of you. I'm only 21 and in the space of my adult life I feel I have learned so much about myself and in 10 years' time, I will be looking back at myself now completely different with a new-found meaning of what it is like to live your life. Sharing the experience with someone younger or the same age may help your ego and self-esteem because that person also knows what emotions you are experiencing transforming into the next stages of your life.

4) Common Culture Similarities

Meeting somebody your age or younger is beneficial to having common ground with somebody. You guys can relate back to the old-school dos and don'ts, shared friends, childhood memories, the newest Netflix show etc. Having common ground with somebody helps you relate to the person more helping connections to flow more fluently.

CONS

1) Jealousy & Self-Esteem Issues

Ahh the jealousy! the worst emotion to have when in a relationship. I'm reminiscing the arguments I had dating people similar in age to me. ''He liked your Instagram post'' ''I saw her looking at you in the club'' look I'm not saying that relationships with older guys are any different but it is all based on your self-esteem and how you see yourself. Everybody has insecurities including me but when your younger you are not as emotionally mature as you are when you get older. Sometimes when we are younger we want to be ''emotionally grown-up'' but in reality, we are just kids learning about ourselves in relationships.

2) Sex

As previously mentioned sex can be great when learning about your preferences it can also be difficult and boring if they only last five minutes. Sometimes younger guys don't think about pleasuring the girl they focus more on themselves. However, I will say this is not including ALL young guys.

3) Not Being Ready to Settle

Your stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, a relationship with somebody meaningful can be amazing but on the other hand seeing your friends clubbing pulling girls and guys, and having all these wonderful memories may make you question if the grass is greener on the other side. DECISIONS..

4) Emotional Maturity

Wondering what the next steps might be? is being in a relationship going to benefit me for the long haul or is it better to have no strings attached and to conquer all the goals you set out?

5) False Reality

I am bad for this. I have got into relationships and instantly pictured us setting up home with 3 children called Maddison, Camila, and Christian and a Golden Retriever and French Bulldog with a nice car. When your young and in love you imagine all of these final moments without thinking about the effort that needs to go into making this work. When reality hits it's more than likely it doesn't work out.

Now dating older guys. My experiences have varied I have dated 36+ as well as dated guys who were 5-7 years older than me. All experiences being very very different from each other but all in respect have taught me about my negatives, my positives, and my worth as a woman. Has dating older guys been easier? No. Has dating older guys been better? Yes/No. Will I be repeating this cycle? YES

OLDER MEN

I think it really depends on their age and their mindset. I have met thirty year olds who act like children, I have met older guys who think dating a younger women will help them relive their youth, I have met older men that are so mature that they have made me subconsciously question myself and if I am worthy of being with them. Every experience varies because the amazing thing about humans is that we are all so unique in our own ways.

The PROS

Dating an older guy is like dipping your feet into a pool of adulting a little beyond my own experiences. It is almost like I want to dip my whole body into that pool but I'm not quite ready yet to try to reach the bottom.

1) Getting your Life in Order

Dating an old guy who knows his worth is sexy AF. Someone who has their life in order in all aspects is only going to help lift you up and make you become a better person. They become almost like your inspiration. You look up to them as a role model of some sort and I think it really helps you grow emotionally.

2) They Have no Time for Drama

This is so important! No drama equals a happy and content life in my opinion. We all live such short lives why waste time on arguing and drama? an older guy wants communication and honesty. If you are arguing about something they WANT you to communicate the problem instead of ignoring them and being childish. Though this is a shock to the system when you have been used to getting your own way for so long it does help you to see the bigger picture and make you grow up.

3) Life with This Person is Easy

Being with a mature guy I think in my opinion makes your relationship easier. 75% of the time there is no jealousy, drama, and aggrivation. Your guy is focused on YOU. They don't have time to look at other women in a sexual way therefore there is not as much drama or worrying about what they could be doing behind your back because they have never given you a reason to doubt their behavior.

4) They Teach You

An older man has had more experiences. The older the guy you meet the more likely they will have been in love before, had children, and traveled around. Some of these things still bother me to a certain degree however when I was younger I used to feel envious of the stories some of my EX boyfriends told me. I wished I had those experiences but you have to learn that they lived a different life before they met you. It is out of your control and also you had a life before them so it is fair game. They teach you lessons they learned, they teach you valuable skills that you need for adulthood, and being with an older guy teaches you that you need to grow up and accept them for who they are NOW.

The CONs

1) Not Emotionally ready

Being young is hard. You go through so many changes and experiences. Being with someone that has their life in somewhat order can make you feel so insecure. You feel you are getting somewhere and then you hear them talk about their bank salary and you question if you are doing enough and if you deserve that person. This is just your brain playing up. I generally believe every person on the planet is born with negativity in their brain, sadly more than others. You may not be emotionally ready to give that guy the love that they need at their point in their life.

2) Children & Exes

If you like older men there is a much higher chance of meeting somebody with kids. Don't get me wrong It is lovely seeing your partner being so loving and paternal to their children. That is how a man should be with their off-spring and it shows you what it could be like if you guys were to have kids together, but what happens if you meet the one who does not want any more are you prepared to sacrifice your desire to have children and family for love? Especially when you come from a family who lives and breathes their Grandchildren and Children. It can also be internally challenging. You picture yourself falling in love and having your OWN and ONLY kids with that person not having to share that feeling and reality this can be tough for young girls maybe you would feel differently if you were older and had your own before meeting the guy. It can also be tough because you know that the Mother of the children will always play a part in your Man's life for good or for bad because they share a baby. This can cause some horrible emotions like jealousy which can negatively affect your relationship especially if that woman is giving you a hard time. You should observe the situation before coming in guns blazing.

3) DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE AND MINDSET

You guys may have different views on where your life is headed. Maybe he wants to settle and have a few children? You want to travel and experience all that there is to living? is mentality and thought process is different from yours? You need to have a healthy balance because relationships are always about trying to make the other person happy as well as being happy in yourself and your relationship. I think if you have different mindsets which you both fixed on you might be better apart because at the end of the day time is a healer.

4) Your Lives Fitting

Outside influence really can affect relationships. You might not like his family or vice versa this can be a problem. You might not like his best friend yet again this can be a problem. Relationships need harmony and I think your lives need to be in balance. If there is an imbalance this can cause you to suffer emotionally and no relationship is good if it starts becoming toxic. Do your work lives fit into each other's lives or are you passing ships?

As a final summary, I think there is a lot of pros and cons to dating both. You also have to consider how you are in relationships as it takes two to tango. Are you open? These are my opinions therefore they are biased however I have used these pros and cons based on experiences I have had. Relationships are all about growth and you need to water the seed in order for it to Flourish. You need to work on yourself and learn your self-worth. There are amazing younger guys and also there are amazing older guys. You love who you love at the end of the day but as long as you are happy.

Erin