Mehh With Relationships.

 Welcome back,

 If you are reading this, here is another blog of mine where I write down everything I'm feeling in the moment to release any emotions and opinions that I feel or am feeling. As a disclaimer, if you don't like my opinions and view-points on things, then I recommend you to not carry on reading. 

                                                       Mehh With Relationships

Why is dating so fricking hard these days? One minute someone is interested, they try to woo you and then the next GHOSTED. Like what the hell is going on? I think technology and being able to get it on stand by contributes to why relationships (decent) ones are hard to find. People are fixed on believing the grass is greener on the other side when in reality it isn't. Trust me I've been there. 

I think being able to check up on your guy/girl on social media's like Instagram also create trust problems, because unlike our grandparents generation you can see your partner liking a post of another person whether it be a semi-naked airbrushed fitness model or the local girl in Shoosh. This in effect makes you start to question your own self by comparing yourself to others. This is why I always recommend to not spend loads of time on Instagram because you start trying to chase the good life when in reality it is not what it may seem. Hence the grass may not be any greener. 

Anyone with older parents, I hope can relate to me here; but it can be so hard sometimes to be stuck in the modern century but also having old school values. For example; since I could remember, the first advice my Mum ever gave me was to never chase after a man. At times I can take this advice too serious, I can be extremely stubborn as I feel that making the first move feels ''desperate'' as I'm fixed on the idea that the man should chase the women. But in modern times (including me being proud on being independent) things are now more 50/50. 

But what I hate is no explanation to why someone has ghosted. If there's one thing I hate is to be disappointed and to be painted a picture of someone's character, that isn't true. I like black and white. I like to know what I'm dealing with. If you want friends with benefits, fine. If you want nothing serious, fine. If you want something more, fine. But tell me the truth, so I therefore am not disappointed. I can act in the way that's correct for the situation. 

Liking someone is serious business, investing time in someone is serious business. I suppose in a way it's like a business deal with a client. You know what you want to gain out of it, imagine the situation where your client who you've worked hard to get them to buy your Ferrari where your going to make a hefty commission sale from. You get all excited thinking of all the ways your going to use that money and then bam at the last minute they have pulled out of the deal and your left stuck on what to do next. Being ghosted in a way is similar. You have invested emotion and time getting to know someone, you get used to the comfort of speaking to them and then you wake up one day and nothing. 

This is why I hate being disappointed, because when your dealing with emotions from another person, your no longer only thinking about yourself. And then to find out the person was not who you pictured them to be sucks. 

A recent situation happened. I was that girl that got ghosted. You get to know someone, though usual from your type but nevertheless was a good-looking guy, had a decent job, decent life and invested emotion into you even going so far to look for apartments for you in their lunch break. Then boom the next you hear nothing from them. Like what the hell is going on? you begin to question every little detail of your last conversations, and in the end you can't think of any reason for them to stop investing. Its a shit feeling, especially when your someone who 

1) hates to feel their making the only moves

2) feel like your chasing someone, going against morals and values you have

3) Doesn't let many in emotionally especially very soon into getting to know someone. 

Having experiences like these, though you tell yourself ''plenty more fish in the sea or well it's his loss'' it still stings and irritates you. Every time you get invested, something happens to make you think you would rather be on your own. 

These situations can de-motivate you. Right now I feel so demotivated on the relationship front. Im focusing mainly on my career and own personal life which is great, but sometimes you wish you could just meet someone and click with them and the situation and dynamic is right. 

You see people, even people that you question how did that person find someone? looking happy and content and your just there. People asking you ''how on earth are you single'' and your thinking well there must be something wrong with me then. It becomes demotivating and right now I have zero interest in exploring romantic relationships, even to go as far and say I don't even want to date right now. 

I always believe, love finds you. It comes when you least expect it. But fucking hell could this person turn up at my door and actually logistically be someone suited to me. It can be so frustrating, but you got to trust the plan and see where it flows.